


Fear

by edensgay (buckybarfs)



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Gen, Heavy Angst, Just a little snippet, Staci is broken and so is Rook, Vague as fuck, a view into staci's mind after jacob, based on a sad Staci line from the game, but it deserves its own thing outside of fragment, but they aren't in it, i wrote this while drunk, it mentions jacob and joseph, lots of remembering, no specific timeline, this is Angstville(tm)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-02 02:18:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17255780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckybarfs/pseuds/edensgay
Summary: “Do you think it scares me after all I’ve been through?” His voice devoid of the emotions he’d once felt so strongly as he took a step towards his once friend. Their eyes widened, startling like a wild animal as they glanced around the space. Waiting for something to jump out of the shadows, for someone to pat them on the back and tell them they were doing good.He knew the feeling all too well. Checking over his shoulder for watching eyes, dreaming of running, branches smacking him as blue eyes followed. Disembodied whispers, promising he was doing good, that he was shaping up to be a good soldier. He was doing his job.





	Fear

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Camryn my LOVE](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Camryn+my+LOVE).



> If you point your gun at Staci he says “Do you think it scares me after all I’ve been through?”

Staci Pratt knew fear.

The feeling of his chest tightening as he hurtled down a dirt road on his first bike, his mother chanting encouragement as he pedaled. He didn’t know how to stop, he kept peddling, hurtling towards something until his feet hit the ground and he was launched from the small bike. He’d landed in a bush filled with spiky things, but he’d never felt more alive. His little heart pounding as fear morphed into something else.

The feeling in his stomach when he asked a girl out for the first time, shuffling his feet and looking at the ground as he asked her to be his date to their middle school dance. Her answer hadn’t mattered, he’d put his heart out there, for her to cherish or crush.

The feeling of his last day of training for the police academy, his throat tight as he waited for their mile run times to be announced. He’d made it, but only barely. He should have taken gym more seriously in high school.

Watching his mother in the hospital, his eyes burning and heart pounding as she told him how proud she was of him. How she’d always be with him, how he’d never truly be without his mom. It hadn’t kept him from feeling alone, from feeling lost without her guiding hand all those years.

The feeling of standing in a church filled with people that was strangely empty, filled with something he couldn’t place. Nausea that crept up his throat and coated his mouth as Rook slapped the cuffs on Joseph Seed. The arrest was so much larger than them, it went beyond that building, a catalyst for something more.

Being ripped from a flaming wreck of what should have been their escape, black spots dotting his vision as he weakly struggled against the hands promising to save him.

On his knees, bound and gagged before Jacob Seed as the herald wheezed on about how Staci would succeed, how there was no other option. Pride stinging on his back as he was broken and rebuilt, made stronger than ever before.

He knew fear.

Staring down the barrel of Rook’s gun he felt _nothing_. There was no clenching in his gut, no tightening of his throat. He felt empty, his body relaxing when it should be tensing, his brain blanking when it should be fighting.

The look in their eye, so far from the once bright-eyed recruit he’d met a while back. They no longer held hope for the future, or excitement for what was to come. They were just as broken as him, their eyes hard and cold.

Someone who had once been one of his best friends now felt like a stranger.

There was no camaraderie in their gaze, no easy smile on their face.

Staci couldn’t even recognize them and he was sure they felt the same.

He’d changed so much in the last few weeks. Weeks? Months? He wasn’t sure.

Jacob Seed changed people, hell, the Project changed people. Something happened when you were on their side, willingly or not. Something changed, something snapped.

“Do you think it scares me after all I’ve been through?” His voice devoid of the emotions he’d once felt so strongly as he took a step towards his once friend. Their eyes widened, startling like a wild animal as they glanced around the space. Waiting for something to jump out of the shadows, for someone to pat them on the back and tell them they were doing good.

He knew the feeling all too well. Checking over his shoulder for watching eyes, dreaming of running, branches smacking him as blue eyes followed. Disembodied whispers, promising he was doing good, that he was shaping up to be a good soldier. He was doing his _job_.

Once upon a time, his job had been to take away guns from unstable people. Now he was part of a movement to arm them. The resistance was filled with ghosts, shells of people who had once lived and prospered in Hope County.

Hope County.

What a joke of a name. There was little hope left in these mountains.

What hope the survivors had left was at the other end of the gun, hands shaking and fingers twitching towards the trigger. Eyes wild with ghosts of a nightmare, ears ringing with whispered praise and nose stinging with bliss. The wolves were closing in, nipping at their heels as their lip trembled.

His eyes were filled with understanding threatening to spill down his cheeks in the form of tears, his tongue heavy with apologies he could never say, arms raised in a gesture of surrender.

Arm the hopeless, arm those who had nothing left to lose.

There was nothing more dangerous than someone who’d lost everything.

He should know.

  
“Do it, Rook.”

He knew fear.

This wasn’t it.

They’d be doing him a favor.

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you leave me feedback I will weep tears of joy.


End file.
